Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!
Why are soccer referees happy? They whistle while they work.
Why was the pencil happy? It drew smiles everywhere it went.
Some people cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
If 4 out of 5 adults SUFFER from occasional back pain… does that mean that 1 out of 5 enjoys it?
Some people say they love others with all their heart. I consider myself lucky if I make it through a day without biting anybody.
Our topic is “Employing happiness for life and liberation.” No sooner did I post this sermon title, I started becoming depressed. I thought I might have to tell you: “take my advice. I’m not using it.
And current events this week were not fun or funny. This however brings home why I chose the title Employing happiness for life and liberation. Spiritual practices exist because they are needed, and the goal is progress not perfection.
There are scammers hawking some elixir promising happiness 24/7/365. That’s not what you’ll get today. I like what Dr Martin Luther King Jr said in a speech to the American Psychological Association. King said “there are some things in our nation and in the world to which I’m proud to be maladjusted, and which I call upon all men of good will to remain maladjusted until the good society is realized. I must honestly say that I never intend to adjust myself to segregation and discrimination. I never intend to become adjusted to religious bigotry. I never intend to adjust myself to economic conditions which take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few. I never intend to adjust myself to the madness of militarism and the self-defeating effects of physical violence.”* King said “The saving of our world from pending doom will come, not through the complacent adjustment of the conforming majority, but through the creative maladjustment of a nonconforming minority. “
Unitarian Universalism asks us to be that nonconforming minority. It asks us to be part of the historic and never-ending effort for justice and liberation. It asks us to continue the work for beloved community. UUism asks us to find reason for optimism, hope. To generate spirited creativity. Our service today echoes the sentiments of Rabbi Nachman of Breslav who lived some 250+ years ago. He said “Friends do not despair, for a difficult time has come upon us. Joy must fill the air. We must not lose our faith in living; we must not despair. Though a difficult time has come upon us, joy must fill the air.”
I recently heard this spirit echoed with a bit of snark: “If fortune has turned her back on you, you can do whatever you want behind her back!”
Our Unitarian ancestors spoke with an positive regard for humanity when they rejected original sin, the trinity and supernatural claims of Jesus uniqueness. To them the point was to follow Jesus not worship him.
The Universalists rejected the concept of hell, eternal punishment- as not scripturally sound or consistent with belief that the source and order of everything is loving and powerful. They proclaimed that divine love would win, and humanity would come to know G*d. Today some of us might say: We will transcend our limited perspective and come to know oneness. We will travel from estrangement to consciousness of unity.
The theology of our Unitarian and Universalist traditions is life affirming and liberatory. Our gospel is that we are not sinful square pegs that must be jammed into round holes. God is not a brutal and insecure dictator that needs obedience. Salvation, blessing, hope, creativity and joy can be found by allowing ourselves to be who we are, by nurturing the fruition that is possible for us.
Poet Mary Oliver wrote: “You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.”
The healing qualities of UU congregations stem from our practice of the idea that we do not need to think alike to love alike. Each of us is a treasure, and we are blessed when we share in congregations, our sense of what is sacred, our experience of what is liberating and what is oppressive. UU tradition understands and appreciates that our different viewpoints and beliefs sometimes lead to friction. That friction blesses us, challenges us and encourages us to grow.
Because I wish to nurture happiness, I write sermons and plan UU services which I hope provide challenge as well as inspiration and encouragement. I trust that each of us will take the ideas we find useful and will leave the rest. This philosophy permeates our religious community. At UUCHC we celebrate diversity as we share a sacred faith journey. 2026 will offer us opportunities to share our experience, strength and hope with each other. Together we will have joy. We will learn from each other as we reflect on what we’ve found useful for happiness and fulfillment. We’ll do this in classes, in small group ministries, in religious services and other church activities.
With us abides a force that promotes healing and happiness. Find it in our respect and appreciation of nature. Find it in our exploration, our questioning, our respectful engagement. From these arise empathy, the setting aside our prejudices and biases to witness and receive a person’s energy. Empathy is more than intellectual understanding. It’s an appreciative connection to humanity. From empathy grows capacity to sharing honesty that is generous, vulnerable and seeks to maintain connection.
Empathy and generous honesty create space for joy to emerge. Mindfulness, love and compassion create space for our being. Together we create sacred space. We create peace, happiness and joy together. We allow peace to be in us because we can’t give away what we don’t have.
Mohandas K Ghandi said: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” Our UU prescription for happiness is an encouragement of integrity. Our spirituality encourages us to get honest about the places our language, beliefs and behaviors are out of alignment with our own heart, conscience and values.
We seek to create empowering relationships not obedience to an coercive authority. For example, when we read scripture, we allow love and our conscience to guide us. Questioning authority is something we do here. When we value words attributed to Jesus, Buddha or any other religious figure, it is because they move and make sense to us.
Our prescription for happiness and fulfillment also includes community. We We UUs covenant or make promises to each other. We grow social responsibility by being accountable to each other. Our care leads us to be responsive to each other.
Happiness and liberation walk hand in hand. Conditioning (especially unhealed trauma) can lead us into harmful patterns and limiting beliefs. Liberation means no longer being enslaved by addiction, resentment, or being stuck in a pattern blaming others for our misery. Happiness means reclaiming for ourselves the beauty of our innate qualities including the ability to enjoy being alive. It means breaking the chains of intergenerational trauma. As UUs we want to learn how to show up in ways that our heart longs for. We become aware of choice and our ability to respond.
How to reclaim joy and happiness? There are more ways than can be included in one sermon. I’ll share a few superfoods rich in nutrients for reclaiming capacity to choose joy. I will share a few slogans koans and mantras that point to deeper liberation.
#1 “Pause when agitated.” When we are agitated, we are likely to react with primitive survival patterns. We are likely having a sympathetic nervous response, aka “fight/flight/freeze.” Pausing can enable us to liberate and activate the higher function of our intelligence; creativity, play, joy. When I pause my reactive patterns, I decide to act not on my feelings but upon spiritual principles. Pausing helps me remember the values I want to bring into this world. I pause to keep me from reacting from conditioning received growing up male in NJ.
Steven Covey paraphrasing psychologist Rollo May said Between stimulus and response there is space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
Tom Gordon, a psychologist and student of Carl Rogers wrote of “Four Stages of Competence.” Learning these has helped me be happy and patient with myself when I’m trying to break habits and develop new behaviors congruent with happiness and fulfilled values.
The first stage is “Unconscious Unskilled.” Here we aren’t yet aware that we are doing something that causes problems. Stage 2 is “Conscious Unskilled.” We become aware of the undesirable pattern and we haven’t yet gained the ability to change it. Stage 3 is “Conscious Skilled.” With great effort we gain skill in the new pattern or behavior. Stage 4 “Unconscious Skilled.” With sufficient repetition, the new pattern becomes automatic.
Some of the most powerful shifts I experienced into happiness came through what can be called attitudinal healing. For this work, many of us need to heal our relationship with the word attitude. Teachers, parents, authority figures may have used the word attitude to criticize and dominate us.
Attitude is an aviation term. It refers to the angle of the wing or the edge of the wing. A change in this angle sends the plane upward or downward. For us on the ground, attitude simply means the angle from which we are looking at life.
Attitude is everything. Pick a good one! Harvey Jackins wrote “At any given moment each of us has the power to choose the attitude on our life experiences that gives us the most satisfaction.” Consider the power of this statement. (repeat)
Focusing on attitude can result in tremendous and powerful shifts. Don’t be surprised if you are able to accomplish great shifts right from the start. However, a disciplined and persistent engagement of attitudinal healing can yield greater returns over time, especially in conjunction with other work you are already doing.
UU principles will help and serve us well when we begin examining and adjusting our attitudes. We allow love to guide us. We use respect, compassion rather than coercion and attempts to dominate. Be gentle with yourself. Practice kindness.
In 1997 I spent the summer at the Option Institute a place where people explore what they belief. Remember when we were young we played “make believe?” We still make beliefs all the time, we just forget to make it playful. In examining my beliefs, I was humbled to realize that I had inherited an attitude of finding fault with everything I was doing. Fellow explorer Susie Leite, now of blessed memory told me “Make it up so you win!” I found it very helpful to pay attention to the many things I do well.
In 2017 after my truck encounter, medical staff kept telling me how great I was doing. My speech therapist would ask me how I was doing. I honestly didn’t know how to answer. Given what people were telling me, I came up with an answer “I’m doing better than I realize.” I still repeat this phrase. Feel free to use it.
I’ve just begun to consider some of the ways we can employ happiness for life and liberation. Perhaps another time I can share some of the things we can do to remove the obstacles from being able to harness this power. I’m passionate about this work, because it has made such a difference in my life.
Before I conclude I want to share one more thing. The most important tool I have found to employ joy or happiness, is learning to allow myself feel and accept my unhappiness.
I learned the word counter intuitive in ocean kayak training. The instructor told us that if our kayak flips, the way to get free is by going down deeper into the water. Once free we can then get to the surface easily. It’s counter intuitive because we may feel desperate to get up.
When we experience loss it’s imperative to allow even schedule time to mourn. These days the news is bound to disturb us. In talking about employing happiness, I’m not suggesting we repress or deny our pain. Pain exists for a reason, and it can alert us to what matters.
This congregation supports us to remember what matters to us. Cherish it. Let’s come together 1000 more times to mourn and to celebrate. Through prayer, singing, meditation and play, we will continue to learn together. So be it.
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