-A church had a picnic and invited the entire community to come. The Pastor placed a basket full of apples on one end of a table with a sign saying, “Take only one apple please – Remember that God is watching.”
On the other end of the table was a plate of cookies where one of the children had placed a sign saying, “Take all the cookies you want — God is watching the apples.”
-A pastor is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy trying to use the doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time the pastor walks across the street up to the little fellow and rings the doorbell.
Kneeling down next to the child, the pastor smiles and asks, “And now what, my little man?” To which the boy replies, “Run!”
Given that our topic today is religious leadership, I’m surprised that any of you came. But you know that when UUS approach common religious topics, we can generate uncommon responses, exceptional questions and surprising diverse answers!
In case you didn’t know it, there are many UUs who are very enthusiastic about our religion! Lots of UUs wear flaming chalice jewelry. There are also many UUs with very strong anti-religious sentiments. The funny thing is how many fit in both categories. I’ve joked for 36 years that I have a ministry to people with more than average distrust of religious authority.
But I get it. Religious authority has been used to engage and justify all manner of horror throughout history. So, UUS sometimes hesitate to authorize people to lead. Without clearly defined delegation of authority, responsibility and accountability, many problems ensue. Loosey goosey often tolerates or enable abuse. Members abuse each other. Leaders abuse congregants. Congregations abuse leaders.
Here is a radical notion: if we want to have communities characterized by respect, dignity, compassion, love, decency, then we need to have leaders that demonstrate these qualities in their behavior. We need our leaders to treat people well. And we need to treat our leaders well.
In 98’ I worked for the Santa Barbara Mental Health Association at its “Fellowship Club,” a community center for county mental health clients. The MHA said that they wanted members to take more leadership at the Club. I attended the weekly community meetings and witnessed many nasty little arguments. Who would want to get involved in that?! Underneath all the bickering and fighting were people longing for respect.
I asked if we could start each meeting with short reports from anyone who led activities (or basically completed any volunteer tasks) during the prior week. The group agreed to try it. It turned out to be easy to establish a new tradition of appreciating each leader and person who had done something for the community. Surprisingly the fighting pretty much stopped. More people started coming to the meetings. More people began signing up to lead classes, activities and to do the jobs that made life more wonderful for everyone.
UU tradition affirms and promotes “the inherent worth and dignity of every person.” The children’s version of this principle says, “Every person matters.”
This principle was present throughout our history. Unitarians and Universalists participated in the social gospel movement which asserted that following Jesus meant tending the marginalized and oppressed, seeing to it that people are treated fairly and decently. God’s divine order was to be established on Earth. This was a religiously liberal interpretation of “Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven,” and “on Earth as it is in heaven.” Today we proclaim that people with different backgrounds and beliefs can come together to build the beloved community. This effort is accomplished through the making and keeping of covenants, agreements and promises about the reasons for our coming together and how we will treat each other.
Covenants were an important part of UBarU’s high school summer camp where I served as a chaplain. During pre-camp staff orientation, we created a covenant. When the campers arrived, teen staff led us all to create our covenant for the week. We agreed that we would revisit it daily and could change or amend it as needed. Every evening after dinner teens led a circle where the community shared parts of the covenant where we did well, and then the parts where we could do better. After lunch, staff did a similar abbreviated process. The sharing in these circles increased accountability. We developed relationships within this shared project of creating a fun empowering and healing community with values of radical respect and inclusiveness. We demonstrated that every person was important!
Camp reminded me of a slogan taught to UU congregation leaders for decades that “All we do is faith development, all we teach in Unitarian Universalism, and the congregation is the curriculum.” The campers had a great time learning and sharing UU traditions in community.
I’m not saying UBarU camp was a perfect display of UU values. I had concerns and objections. The learning I did was not always easy for me. I am grateful for the experience.
I would love to be able to help our congregation experience some of the qualities of camp, especially the aspect of learning UU together. Given age difference, I don’t expect it to be just the same. I do trust that we value lifelong learning, and that the youth have much to teach us.
One of the UU values I saw in operation at camp was self-determination. It’s a value long cherished in our tradition. It echoed from the words of one of Rev. Theodore Parker who wrote: “government is to organize these natural, unalienable and equal rights into institutions designed for the good of the governed, and therefore government is to be of all the people, by all the people, and for all the people. Here government is development, not exploitation.” Abraham Lincoln used some of Parker’s thoughts and words in the better-known Gettysburg Address.
UU religious leaders promise to support the use of democratic process in our congregations and in our denomination! People who don’t know better assume that the minister is the decision maker. In our churches, there is tremendous care and effort to support equalitarian participation in the creation of the congregation’s religious life. Our churches have mechanisms to ensure congregational input into major decisions.
The style or flavor of religious life differs in each UU congregation. Why? What is created is determined by the creativity and resources of staff and volunteers.
Something people like about large congregations is the quality and amount of programs, music, family activities, religious education, etc. Something that people like about small churches is that you can plug in almost anywhere and have your efforts be a significant contribution! You want to see the music program enhanced? the number of classes and small group ministries increased? You want new opportunities for spiritual development? You want the congregation to offer fun social activities? These happen when people take initiative and make them happen.
I use the word ministry as a synonym for community organizing. Shared ministry refers to the efforts to create community. In my book, you are a leader any time you do something that contributes to the well-being of our congregation. We strive to build power together!
What we create and have together is a force for good, for beauty and healing. Don’t let prejudice about religion keep you from claiming UU religion. Claim your affiliation and be part of this religious community! Participate in ways that work for you and for the congregation!
The hill country needs us, and we need each other! The amount of loss in Kerr County is staggering. There is much chaos and devastation. Grief and anguish are abundant, affecting more of us than we may realize. Yes, the outpouring of support is amazing and wonderful! We do well to celebrate it. However, it’s still a lot of chaos and upheaval.
Anger, resentment, blame, and the tendency to withdraw are predictable in times like these. They are understandable as expressions of pain. However, these make it unlikely to get the quality of connection and care that we need. Let us pray and act to bring an extra portion of grace here in Kerr County.
Our religious tradition calls us to do the hard work of building healing relationships and strong communities. Please, let’s reach out to each other in this congregation and beyond. Check on people beyond your circle of friends. Maybe you consider them “difficult.” Maybe you think “they” don’t like you. You don’t have to feel warm and fuzzy about every person in the congregation. Just be decent. Resist the temptation to write people off or see them to the gates of the city. Your little gestures of kindness do more good than you know. And you will feel better when you contribute to the growing care in this community.
BTW, I’m not that we should all be extroverts! And we all have needs for some quiet and solitude. Contribute to the collective and take time for yourself. Do things that feed your soul. And if you don’t think you’re doing well, maybe reach out. Consider the hard times we are in. Cut yourself some slack! Cut us some slack! We will fall short a thousand times. We are good, not perfect. Remember we are trying, and we are in this together.
There are things and forces that get in the way of people coming together. It’s understandable that many are tired of politics right now. When leaders threaten, when they use angry tones and call names, it shuts down conversation. Resentments and walls go up. Judgmental angry reaction forms bond between some but maintain divisions between others.
Sometimes people have all the pain they can handle, and don’t want to deal with hard questions. It’s also understandable that some people who are hurting express their deep care by raising hard questions and demand answers. We all need grace now.
Many of us have found it harder to practice our UU traditions recently. Violence and trauma cause fragmentation. Whether we see or acknowledge them, there are forces that pull our communities in different directions. At times, unity may seem impossible.
In Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson said “A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise, shall give him no peace.
Resist the temptation to justify giving up. Pause and rest as needed. Get more support. Take courage. Proceed with humility and faith. Cherish and nurture our faith. When despair knocks on many doors, hold on to joy- if only as memory, and then sing it into being. Create beauty. Be outrageous. Play!
Claim the good that is with us. Cherish what we share. Notice efforts made for healing, connection, communication. Pray, meditate. Find your source. Acknowledge anything that uplifts, and say to yourself: “This is a moment of connection!” We come to this sanctuary to share .. our hope, our despair, our joy, our sadness. Reconsider religious leadership. Acknowledge it, appreciate it, and most of all BE it.. here in your congregation!
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